review — Writing — ana pastore

2019- the best year yet, for now. Also, the hardest.

I thought that 2018 was the hardest- spending half of it living in Germany, and the remainder completing my degree while juggling work, then my part-time days converting straight into full-time. Curious about how 2019 would beat the year.

My 2019 can be divided into different phases, there are three main ones, here are some key thoughts about each;

Phase 1: Work

Flexibility at work. Travel around Australia. Partner visiting Australia for the first time. Great ocean road. Rediscovering my love of reading. The library at work- a treasure trove. Work not working- perhaps graduate dissatisfaction, perhaps not the right workplace for me. Partner returns home to Sweden. Work really not working. Lacking in inspiration. Questioning whether I’m in the right field. Lunch breaks at the dog park with colleagues. 22 and feeling like a quarter-life crisis building up. I started this job for the opportunity, feeling less and less like that. Surrounding myself with good friends and trusted mentors. Starting Krav Maga- great to channel frustration. Multiple conversations with the company, open communication about goals and developing within the company, and their needs. Weather getting colder, days shorter, winter coming. Looking at options to travel. Reading more. Federal election. Disillusionment. Climate change being ignored. Family trip planned to Lord Howe Island. Interrupted sleep. Nightmares about work. Planning trip to Sweden on the back of Lord Howe Island. Colleagues supporting me, strong friendships and camaraderie. “The truth will set you free”. Resign from work and leave on good terms- with the option to return in the future. Grateful for the opportunities it brought and the learning it provided. Relieved. No nightmares that night. And then, the flu knocked me flat in the last week.

Phase 2: Travel

Subleased my room. From work immediately to disconnection. Lord Howe Island. Tiny plane. Landing in paradise, and on a 1km long runway. No phone reception. Sleeping a lot. Eating fresh food. Outside lots. Rambles in the rainforest. Writing a lot. Resting. Mum is worried. Recovering from the flu and an intense period of time. Long hikes around the island. Bikes only. Snorkeling in freezing water. Writing lots. Conversations with locals. Learning about ecology and endemic species. Attending lectures. Photographing plants. Fresh avocado (happy millennial). Leaving Paradise.

18 hours in Sydney. Mad repacking. Long haul to Sweden the next day. Chaotic trip arrive exhausted and sick. Sunrise at 3:30 in the morning. Sunset at 11:30 at night. Feel like I get two days for the price of one. Archipelago sunsets. Find the city library. Get used to transport. Hiking trip to Norway with a group. Exploring different parts of Sweden. Extend trip for another two months. Baking cinnamon buns. Enrol in a Swedish course. Solo trip to Copenhagen. Most expensive coffee in my life. Danish Architecture Centre, Architecture walking tours. Got a library membership. Reading lots. Rediscovering inspiration and attraction to the built environment industry. Turn 23, best brunch ever. Swedish classes- the best teacher. Make friends in class (some Australian- how ironic). Community and my own connections to Sweden being formed. Weather getting colder. Applying for jobs back home. Preparing to head back. Bittersweet. Experiments with film photography. Feeling interested, engaged, and grateful.

Phase 3: Return, rebuild

Immediately back to hospitality to pay bills. Time in the garden. Facetime, daily. Time zones and misaligned schedules. Applications continue. Mornings to myself. Walking. Deep conversations. Interviews. And then, while I reverse parallel park the car, a phone call. Smiling from ear to ear. New year, new job. Didn’t crash into a tree. Excited, keen to learn more, and to begin. Colleagues with a wealth of experience. Public sector- work for the good of the community.

Connecting to self, my garden, passions, the industry. Architects pulling together in the fight against climate change. Volunteering at the botanical garden. Honesty. Swimming lots, the beach. Hot chocolate at Coogee after a cold swim. Bushfires. Smoky Sydney. Ash on everything. The silly season, and a visitor from Sweden- here for his first warm (and smoky) Christmas. Community pulling together- fundraisers left, right and center. Celeste barber raising over 50million. Climate protests. Rearranging my space. Rain.

That got long, and it feels like the tip of the iceberg. It’s incredible to think how much can fit into just a year, and how I couldn’t possibly have thought that all of this would happen.

And so, 2020 begins. I look forward to more garden, nature, sustainability, more learning, action on climate change, small and large scale. Quality time. Friends. Family. Spending time with my grandmothers. Self-discovery. Reading. Trying new things. Time in the library. Spending time on hobbies. Challenges. Proper pasta carbonara: it’s delicious (no cream, eggs).

And Less: Stuff. Accepting the status quo- whether used in terms of “business as usual” or “that’s just the way it is”. Overloading the schedule. Busy for the sake of busy. It would probably be good for my health to calm down on the pasta carbonara.

Until next time!

AP

17: A year in review